I've spent the past couple of days in the mountains. The air is crisper here than in Austin. It's crystal crispy clear.
I'm kickin' it in training this weekend. Don't get me wrong, I'm super psyched. I mean I've been looking forward to this weekend for what seems like foreva.
So why the h do I have this pit in my belly.
Let's review. I'm in the magical mountains in Colorado, and I am about to get to learn a bunch o'nuggets of knowledge about yoga and cancer. And then I get to share what I learn with my parT peeps. (Yep, that's you.) Sounds like my jam, right? Totally.
Then why the h do I have this pit in my belly. This pit. It's got me thinkin'. 'Thinkin' 'bout expectations, 'bout trust, and 'bout love.
Woo woo warning. 'Bout to start talking about horoscopes. Well kinda horoscopes. Mo like forecasts. This month's forecast is instability. Great. Insert sarcasm here. Not sho 'bout you but I could go for a big ol' steaming mug o' STABILITY right now. Or at least a shot of it. Don't get me wrong, I like mixing it up. I am down for change. For growth. And with that comes some instability. Right? But still. Last month's forecast was intense. Come on Universe. Give us a lil' break.
Ok. So. Clear, fresh mountain air. Getting to talk and learn about yoga and breathing for three days. Insert expectation here. Should be super jazzed. And I am. I am jazzed. But this pit.
Instability. Maybe that's the pit. And expectations. Expectations for what the training will "bring" me. Expectations to feel grounded by the mountains. And rejuvenated by the fresh air. And I do feel grounded and maybe a lil' rejuvenated. At least a little mo'. But the pit.
I'm in the mountains learning about yoga and building community. And the pit? Really? Not sho why. Maybe it's first day o training jitters. Maybe it's not about yoga. Maybe it's not about the mountains. Maybe. Most likely. I don't know. Maybe I'll figure it out. Maybe I won't. No expectations. (If I figure it out I'll letcha know. Well, at least 99.9% sure I will.)
So for now. I don't know. I'm not sho. And maybe if I did know, it'll help me know what to do. Or not to do. Maybe. Not sho.
What I do know is that for now, I can love. I can trust. I can be love. I can be trust. And I can (try) to let go. And I can (try) to prioritize w my heart. And (try) to keep the momentum through instability. And I can remember to exhale. As slowly as I can. I can remember that our power is in our exhales. (Reminded of that yesterday in training.)
Alright parT peeps, will you join me today? (And everyday.) Will you take a min (or two, or five) and remember to exhale. As slowly as you can. And to be love. And to be trust. And maybe just maybe (insert fingers crossed emoji here), this pit will fade away.