Negative Thoughts, Our Realities, and Love

THE INVITATION :: by Oriah Mountaindreamer :: I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

I was once told by a healer that what threatens my peace is the way I think.

And that I am a leader for those around me. A leader for positive thinking.

Ok. Hold up. My thinking threatens my vibe but it also leads my tribe.

That's confusing.

And then I thought about it a lil mo.

And now I can understand.

“Look for love in every situation,” she said.  “Speak to yourself w love, and love yourself unconditionally.”

In You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero tells you to stop giving a shitake about what other people think. She asks you how liberated you would feel. How free? Easier said than done? Not giving a shitake about what yo sista, yo mama, yo BFF, yo boss, yo partner thinks. JS has got some recs if you’re having trouble kickin those cares to the curb. One is to find a mentor, a hero, or a role model. And then to help flex your not caring what other people think muscle, ask yoself, “What would my hero do?”

I can think of several heroines in my life right now. Well. And there's Prince. He's a hero. Fo sho. But. There's also several fierce females that if I were to borrow their lens, their perspective, I could love the one I am. At least love me a lil mo. It seems that I can give love to my peeps. But the whole giving love to myself thang that I’m working with. I get it. I do. The concept of self love. And I get that I lead w positive thinking w my peeps. But my thoughts about myself. Well. Giving away my power to others opinions and having a low at times empty self love tank. I’m familiar w it. And getting diagnosed w boob cancer. That sure gave me a swift kick in the a$$.

A couple of days ago one of my soul sistas and I had a, I’ll call it, a tough, conversation. A real conversation. Maybe a reality check. A nudge. A swift kick in the a$$. Did it hurt? Yes. Did I need to hear it? Yes. “Em, you made it through cancer, and you are worried about this? Figure it out.”

And so I cried. I cried because I cared about what she thinks about my writing. I cried because. Yup. I had cancer. Yes, I’m so flippin excited to be alive, but, yup, I still flippin cry about it sometimes. And. I cried cause I was sad. And cause I was hopeful. And cause I was scared. Scared of my negative thoughts. And I was scared of my dim self love. So. Thanks for the swift kick in the a$$. (And yes. She is one of my heroines.)  

So for today. And maybe for tomorrow. Or this week. Or this month. Or wheneva or if eva I need them. I’ll borrow one of my heroine’s glasses. Cause through my eyes theirs have rose colored lenses.

And I’ll love. Me. Unconditionally. I’ll love my fears. I’ll love my hopes. And I'll love that I have hair on my head. And I'll love having a dance parT. 

And I’ll talk to myself the way I would talk to my peeps. When those negative thoughts come through my noggin, it’ll be a-ok. I’ll hang. No need to push away. I’ll just talk to myself through it. Just the way I would talk to my peeps.

Because as JS says :

::: Our thoughts become our words.

::: Our words become our beliefs.

::: Our beliefs become our actions.

::: Our actions become our habits.

::: And our habits become our realities.

So today think I love you. (And that you is you, boo.) Tell yoself I love you. You’ll believe it. And maybe you already do. If you don’t. I promise. Eventually. You will. At least more than before. So. It’s worth a shot. To. Just. Keep Trying. Act w love. Unconditionally. Make love a habit. Cause who doesn’t want a reality that is full of love. (And. If you say me, you’re lying. We’re human. We all want love.)

Peace out.

I love you, boo. (And that you is me, boo.)