Snoozing, Phantom Sensations and What If

THE INVITATION :: by Oriah Mountaindreamer :: It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

In You Are a Badass, Jen Sincero calls the ego the Big Snooze (BS) aka the part of self that’s acting like a weenie. She says your weenie acting self is an operator of limiting beliefs that are also false. It’s the not so flattering or not so empowering decisions you’ve made. The stuff you do to try to win love or get validation. To be accepted. To be liked. It’s the victim playing shitake that’s really just rooted in fear. And it really. Keeps. You. Stuck. The weenie BS keeps you confined. Safely.  

 Then. There’s your Superhero Self aka your non-BS self. Your inner Superhero:

  1. Is pretty flippin' rad

  2. Operates from connection

  3. Loves and trusts from within

  4. Feels purpose

  5. Kicks it proactively

  6. Is present

  7. Is rooted in love

  8. Believes in limitless potential

  9. And totally believes in miracles

JS goes on to talk about waking up from the BS. How society encourages perpetual BS. How your loved ones may try to stop you from waking up from the BS. (Whaaaaa? But it sounds so flippin rad, right?) And how even when you are waking up it might seem like the wrong choice since shitake will prolly, most likely, hit the fan which then you’ll think is a sign from the Universe to stop when it really means you are making the right choice and need to keep going. WTH. That’s some confusing BS. Right?

I get it. The whole idea of it gets worse before it gets better. The idea of chaos occurring before transformation. Breakthrough. Well. I think I get it. I hear it. But do I get it?  

So. Now. I am thinking.

What if?

What if? Today. Today I choose to look through the lens of my Superhero Self.

Why not, right?

And. What if?

What if I get a flat tire.

What if I left an almost full package of organic, nitrate free, sugar free prosciutto out overnight to spoil.

What if I have a horrible sleep cause a saw a cockroach in my bedroom that I couldn’t catch. But could. Still hear the flutter of it wings. Somewhere. As I closed my eyes, took deep breaths, and repeated in my head. You are safe. You are falling asleep. You are safe. You are falling asleep. You are safe. You are falling asleep.

What if on top of sleep deprivation, on top of phantom sensations of cockroaches scurrying up my arm, or my leg, or on my face, I, also have a neck crick.

What if people you love are far away from you, and you have a day when your heart is particularly twinge-y for them.

What if you lose your job?

What if the doctor goes over your MRI results w you and recommends knee surgery?

What if you get a water bill that’s three (or seven) times it’s usual size cause you accidentally left the water running in the hose outside. For 492 hours (apparently). 

What if you find a lump in your boob. What if you get in a fight w your live-in partner that you on the same day and can’t stop crying.

What if the lump. Is. Cancer.

What if, what if, what if.

What if. A day or week or month of a big load of shitake doesn’t actually mean shitake.

What if the Universe is actually giving you a thumbs up. A double thumbs up. Followed by a high five.

What if the shitake actually means yes.  

What if? 

What if it is all here? Now. 

What if you already have it? What if it already exists? 

Drop into the moment. Be present. 

Join the parT, peeps. The be present parT. I'm gonna give it a shot. Today. And hopefully every. day. 

"All you have to do is shut up, show up, and usher it in," JS. 

xo, em.

P.S. And. Believe. You can fly. Cause. Why not?

P.P.S. Hug someone today. And. Every. Day. Cause. What if? What if all else falls away?