The summer solstice. The longest day of the year. Secretly, I think it has always been one of my fave days. But also one of my least fave. There’s just something fun about the most bright day of the year. Makes me want to have a dance par-T. But. Then the summer solstice also is makes me think of the winter solstice. The darkest day of the year. My least fave day.
And. Thinking of the winter is making me a little sentimental. It's got me thinkin’ about the past. One year ago today, two years ago today.
One of my healing homies, Bernie aka Dr. Siegel, encourages peeps to look back a year or two before the onset of a disease. To reflect on what was happening then and then what is happening now. I read his rec about this time two years ago, and I remember dismissing his advice. But I came back around. At the time though. Dis-missed. I wasn’t concerning myself w my past. I was focusing on release and giving energy to the future. Towards life.
Now, I’m thinking : why not look back two years ago, when I am thriving?
So. I’m about to. And. This time it’s easier to look back w an open heart.
Two years ago today, I was wrapping up the end of my sixth year as a school psych. I had completed two chemo treatments. I had shaved my head but I wasn’t totally bald. Yet. Still stubbly. This was the summa that I was super into a legit morning ritual. And super into self love. And super into naps. Well. And. There was the chemo. Bleh. So def naps.
Every morning :
- Chill in turquoise rocker on back porch
- Listen to the birds
- Write thank you cards (stuffed with a You Are Beautiful sticker)
- Maybe color
- Wog aka walk jog
- Sometimes wance aka walk dance. I can’t help it peeps. Whitney and Mariah just bring out the dance parT in me. T Swift was high up there that summer too. Who doesn’t want to shake it off? Sometimes the bust out in song in me too. You’re welcome neighbors. You’re welcome.
In between, I’ve disentangled from a significant romantic relationship, left school psych-ing, spent some time in corporate America, and four of the peeps I love the most in the world have moved from living 13 miles away from me to living in the woods, 1,924 miles away from me.
And now. Right now. Here. This morning.
I’m grateful to have my morning ritual be the greatest imprint in my memory of two years ago. Of where I was. My boob and ridding unhealthy cells : the reasons that led me to creating my new and improved self love ritual (and then remembering to return to it when I fall off) are less present.
I remember gratitude for life. Not fear of death.
I remember strength not weakness. (Several months later my soul sista would tell me during our lunch date: you are “I Em Strong.” I bought iemstrong.com later that day. Thanks, J. Pino, for planting the seed. And thank you for being you. XO)
I remember promise. I remember trust. I just had this feeling deep down that every thang was going to be a-ok.
And. I’m grateful to be back in the swang of the morning ritual thang. Fell off for a bit. #truth (Meditation and writing are fo shos. But I’ve been slackin’ a lil on the yoga, reading, walking thang.)
And. I’m curious. Curious to see what two years from now will be. And I’m trusting. I’m trusting that the Universe has my back. Even if sometimes it’s behind the scenes.
So, cheers to two mo years, parT peeps!
PS. Oh. And. Happy Summer Solstice!