Time, Rituals, and Clarity

I am thinking about it. Getting back into the swang of more of a morning routine. A sort of ritual. I’ve been away from it for a bit. But life has felt cray the last couple of days. And I made a rad connection with who I hope will be my new amiga at ladeez happy hour yesterday. Over rose and verbal diarrhea, she convinced me. To revisit it. Meditation. Like the routine of sitting and committing to time just being. Intentionally. For like 15 mins. I have 15 mins. Come on.

You see here’s the deal, peeps. I’m noticing I need to get a little more grounded. I’m noticing my energy is a little frenetic. And I’m tired. Cause frenzy-ing. Well. It’s tiring.

So. Here I go. I am committing to a better routine of meditating. Like the sitting kind. Cause I love myself and cause it’s time. It’s time to tap back into that love. To give myself all the love that I need and that I deserve.

I am giving myself the gift being present. Less replaying the past. Less imagining the future.

And this morning a bunch of shitake popped up. In meditation. I got up this am and cleaned. I needed my space more organized before I popped my earbuds in and sat down to get all up in my present. First I cleaned. Then. I popped my earbuds in. And I listened. Jumana Sophia's voice guided me through visualilzations. Well. For like a min. Or a sec. Cause all these images of people were popping up. Visuals of people’s faces. My therapist. (Of course. So cliche.) And peeps from my past. And from my present. And then sensations. Like a really uncomfortable burning in my stomach.

But I sat with the burn. I let it ride through. To pass. I wanted to roll into a ball. To protect myself from the discomfort. The pain. The fear. The fear that the pain wouldn’t stop. But you know what? It did. It washed through me. Released. It may come back. Sometimes it does. But at least it’s shifted.    

So for today my mantra is :: I am strong. I am nourished. I am clear. Thanks Jumana. I got this.

I’m also buying a watch. My phone no longer needs to be my clock.

I’m also going to drink enough water. Every day.

I’m also going to sit outside on my porch mo now and sip on coffee. Thx to my sis I now have a chair on my landing.

I’m also siesta-ing today.

How about you? What are you doing to love yoself today?

Gotta take care of yoself so you can take care of others, parT peeps.