Darkness, Gratitude, and Shifts

I met up with a (female) friend for a cocktail last week...and ended up sharing some of my story w her. The last time she had listened my story I was in a pretty dark place. Seriously hating my life would be an appropriate description (in hindsight). I was two months post my last chemo treatment. I had some head hair; I can’t remember if I had eyelashes/eyebrows. (Dang. I hope so. Losing those really felt like my femininity was snatched away from me). My digestion was destroyed from chemo which meant my mind was wacky too. (Repairing your mind through your gut (and self love) is my jam.) I was craving community but felt misunderstood.

Almost a year and a half later, I am so grateful. I am grateful that my story has shifted. Yes, partly because I have head hair, eyelashes, and eyebrows. But it’s more than a physical shift that I was sharing w my friend over a cocktail. It’s honestly a soul shift. That I’ve come to embrace some of the time. Well, actually, maybe most of the time. Understanding that you fuel what you put your energy into. You give ideas, emotions, stories - power. The idea seems simple. But it can be f-ing hard to truly trust it. Believe it...

As you may know, my word for the year is love. (And I just added trust. So now I have two words.) Here’s the idea parT peeps. If you want love than love. Love yoself, love yo ritual of morning coffee, love the sound of the birds chirping in the am, love the bright stars in the night sky, love yo sistas (soul or bio). Love, love, love.  

So vibrate the cosmos with love and trust. (Or whateva you need.) And the cosmos will clear the path. Trust. And love. Trust. Love. Trust. Love…

I’m not asking you to deny the fear. I am not asking you to push away the dark. I’m asking you sit w the darkness. Let it be. I’m asking you to pay attention to the light. To feed the light. To grow the light, the love, the trust.

“Feeling everything. Keep your heart wide open. As wide as you can. And then...put a big fucking fence around it.” - Danielle LaPorte, White Hot Truth

My friends jam is also (self) love these days. She and two other fierce females have created the Breakup Project...a journey to self love and recovery designed to flip the script on relationship breakups from painful and sorrow filled to empowerment and healing.